A BALANCED LIFE

 

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

 

     This morning as we look at Pau’s exhortation it almost sounds like he is giving a list of rules and regulations for life.  A behavior list that if you do this you will be a good person.  Paul has made it clear in the previous part of this chapter and book that faith in Christ alone will save you.  In 1 Timothy Paul reminded Timothy that the world is watching and that our influence and testimony are dampened and hindered when we are inconsistent in our character and public testimony.  In Rev 12:11, it states that we overcome by the blood of the lamb, the word of our testimony and being willing to die for the faith.

 

1.      So in Vs 29, Paul starts with the most obvious our speech.  He says do not let unwholesome talk come out of our mouth.  Gossip, slander, curses, questionable jokes, sarcasm, profanity, outbursts of anger, and questionable conversation.  Whatever is pure, lovely, wholeness, noble, praise worthy, right and holy is what we should be talking.  David asked the Lord to put a watchman at the door of his mouth so he would not sin against the Lord.  James says blessing and curses should not come out of the same mouth.  The mouth will eventually speak what is in the heart.  That is why we must guard our hearts.

 

a.      Paul says that we should only speak what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.  I remember when I got saved the first thing that got cleaned up with my language.  Last time I swore was Aug 15, 1977. 

b.      We are called to speak the truth in love.  Love should be the foundation of any conversation we have.  Encourage, affirm and build others up in your conversations. 

c.      Here are five ways to build others up in conversations.

 

1.       Active listening.

2.      Use their name.

3.      Let them talk about themselves.

4.      Make them feel important.

5.      Emphasize similarities.

 

d.      James says be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.  When you do this Paul says this will benefit those who listen.  When we have wholesome conversation it really stands out in our profane world.  Solomon says a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.  I like that.

 

2.      In Vs 30, Paul says do not grieve the Holy Spirit with whom you were sealed for day of redemption.  First, this shows the Holy Spirit is a person.  You cannot hurt a thing, force or object.  I like how Ernest Angley puts it.  It means to burden. When the Holy Spirit is grieved, He is burdened. To grieve is to oppress.

 

a.      To grieve is to afflict with deep, acute sorrow—to afflict the Holy Spirit with deep sorrow because of saying and doing the wrong things.

b.      To grieve is to make sad, to distress. We make the Holy Spirit sad, distressed when we disobey the Lord. God’s own people can make the Holy Spirit sad by some of the things they do, cause Him to mourn. He cannot possibly mix with that which is foreign to His personality.

c.      To grieve the Holy Spirit is to make Him lament; many have done this to Him.  We do not want to do it because we are His temple, dwelling place and we are heading for eternity a place of peace, love and completeness. 

 

3.      In Vs 31, He then says to get rid of the following five things.  First, get rid of bitterness which is caused by being hurt and wronged then letting it go unchecked until it poisons your whole perspective and life.  That is why forgiveness is essential.  Explain how thought process works and why we must forgive immediately.

 

a.      Rage and anger.  Paul puts them together.  Rage is feeling the need to express violent uncontrollable anger.  You lose it and there are always consequences.  Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.  Anger is an emotion caused by a perception of being wronged.  It can be good or bad depending on what is angering us.  Selfish anger leads to wrong reactions.  Righteous anger moves us to defend others and right wrongs.  The cause is the key.  But rage and anger uncontrolled is the issue here with Paul.   The key to anger to being quick to hear and slow to speak.

b.      Brawling which means getting into fights whether physical or talking.  People get into fights.  When they feel threatened or wrong.  They do not respect a person, are self- involved, don’t get enough sleep, substance abused, you have personal problems or self- esteem problems and deflect or attack others. 

c.      Slander is making false and damaging statements about someone.  Christians should never do that.  Satan is accuser of the brethren.  You are doing satan’s work when you slander.

d.      Any form of malice which is the intention or desire to do evil or ill will.  Paul says put it away and don’t let it use you.  I love the illustration the old native said.  The one who rules your life is the one you feed.  So feed your inner man with the word of God and prayer. 

 

4.      In Vs 32, Paul says let these three qualities be the evidence of God’s control of your life.  Be kind.  It is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.  It flows from love, mercy and grace. 

 

a.      Be compassionate.  This is a feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others.  Understanding, concern and empathy towards other.  Any outward sign of love.  Jesus said people will know we are his disciples by the way we love one another. 

b.      Forgive one another.  This is a choice and must be done immediately.  Paul says you do it because you have been forgiven.  This is the reason we forgive.  We also know forgiveness is the key to get rid of all these negative expressions Paul talked about.