Truth
or Consequences - By Pastor Robert Dean Steel
When I was growing up I use to watch two television
programs. One was
called, "To tell the
Truth," and the other was called, "Truth or Consequences."
Later I discovered that in
Consequences. Telling the truth is always the best policy
but how does one
react when a child tells us
a lie. This article will give us some
ideas. Proverbs 22:6 states “Train a child in the way they should go and
they will not depart from it.
The real secret in curbing lying in a child is to
discourage it. First, do not
over react to lies in
children under five, but don't let them get away with either.
Gently but firmly help them
to sort fact from fantasy. Tell them,
"It's exciting
to see a monster under the
table or the closet, isn't it? But you
didn't really see
did you?"
Next, look at your relationship with your child. Ask yourself
honestly. Do
I provide motivation to lie
by having unrealistic expectations, demanding perfection
and competitiveness or
constantly expressing disapproval? Do I
make my children
to want my acceptance at any
cost? Do I let them know that I love
them for who
they are and accept them for
the way God made them? Our acceptance
must never
based upon performance,
their loving us or on what they give us return for what we
give or do for them.
Thirdly,
tell your children that lying to cover up makes a wrongdoing more
serious. Encourage them that correction, punishment
and discipline will be less
severe when they confess
honestly. My parent always told me that
the punishment
would be harder if I lied.
Allow you children to be honest about their feelings
while remaining
respectful. Listen to what they have to say. If children feel that you have given them
a fair hearing they will be
less likely to do things behind your back.
Children want
to be seen and heard. This also helps lessens frustration and
resentment. Open
communication is the key.
Stay calm in the face of a lie. Exploding in anger makes it much harder for
a child to come clean and
tell the truth. They fear your anger and
want to keep the
peace. Anger is always a grounds in the mind of
child to lie.
If a child lies and causes dissension or division. Help them to develop
skills that will help them
gain confidence with others and gain entrance in social
groups. Talk about how honesty and trust will help
people build strong friendships.
When a lie occurs, discuss with the child the reasons for
the particular lie.
Have you ever had a child
that fake sickness to avoid school?
There is usually something happening that day the child is trying to
avoid. Find out what it is. Many times it is a bully or another child who
at the time is making your child miserable.
When you find out correct the problem as soon as possible.
Lastly and above all else, set the example for honesty
and integrity. Your
insistence that lying is
wrong must be back up by a life style that backs up what you
say. Don't ask your children to do something you
are not willing to so. You and
I as parents are called to
mentor and model honesty before our children.
Your
children will value and
respect you as a person of integrity if you neither lie or
cheat. Start today, even bad examples can be
corrected when tackled with
honesty.
I
decided to bring a more practical message on truth. Jesus said He was the way, the truth and the
life. No one could come to the Father
but by Him. That is truth.
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