SMILE FOR THE DAY

 

As you have probably noticed I have been doing more humor pieces. 

These articles are no more designed to put a smile on you face and lighten

up you day.  In the movie, "Far Away," with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman,

there is one line that is priceless.  Tom Cruise is sitting in a pub being moody

and cranky.  A man come up to him and saying, "Lighten up lad, your to young

to be drowning in your drink."  So Slave Lake, lighten up and eenjoy these

little glossary of medical terms and homespun alternate meanings.

 

Benign:  What you be after you be eight,

Artery:  The study of paintings.

Bacteria:  Back door to a cafeteria.

Barium:  What doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean Section:  A neighborhood in Rome.

Cat Scan:  Searching for the kitty.

Colic:  A sheep dog.

Coma:  A punctuation mark.

Dilate:  To live long.

Enema:  Not a friend.

Fester:  Quicker than someone else.

Fibula:  A small lie.

Genital:  A Non Jewish person.

Hang Nail:  What you hang you coat on.

Labor Pain:  Getting hurt at work.

Morbid:  A Higher bid than I made.

Pap Smear:  A fatherhood test.

Pelvis:  A second cousin to Elvis

Tumor:  More than one.

Urine:  Opposite of your out.

Rectum:  Darn near killed him.

Recovery Room:  Place to do upholstery.

 

     Well for all the nurses, doctors and workers in the medical field.  These were

especially for you.  The rest of us will just rub our heads in confusion and take

two aspirins and mail in the five dollars.