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29 Do not let any
unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building
others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day
of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and
slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one
another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
This morning as we look at Pau’s exhortation it almost sounds like he is
giving a list of rules and regulations for life. A behavior list that if you do this you will
be a good person. Paul has made it clear
in the previous part of this chapter and book that faith in Christ alone will
save you. Paul reminds us that the world
is watching and that our influence and testimony are dampened and hindered when
we are inconsistent in our character and public testimony. In Rev 12:11, it states that we overcome by
the blood of the lamb, the word of our testimony and being willing to die for
the faith.
1. So in Vs 29, Paul starts with the most obvious our speech. He says do not let unwholesome talk come out
of our mouth. Gossip, slander, curses,
questionable jokes, sarcasm, profanity, outbursts of anger, and questionable
conversation. Whatever is pure, lovely,
wholeness, noble, praise worthy, right and holy is what we should be
talking. David asked the Lord to put a
watchman at the door of his mouth so he would not sin against the Lord. James says blessing and curses should not
come out of the same mouth. The mouth
will eventually speak what is in the heart.
That is why we must guard our hearts.
a. Paul says that we should only speak what is helpful for building
others up according to their needs
b. We are called to speak the truth in love. Love should be the foundation of any
conversation we have. Encourage, affirm
and build others up in your conversations.
c. Here are five ways to build others up in conversations.
1. Active listening.
2. Use their name.
3. Let them talk about themselves.
4. Make them feel important.
5. Emphasize similarities.
d. James says be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. When you do this Paul says this will benefit
those who listen. Solomon says a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in
pictures of silver.
2. In Vs 30, Paul says do not grieve the Holy Spirit with whom you were
sealed for day of redemption. First,
this shows the Holy Spirit is a person.
You cannot hurt a thing, force or object. Grieving means to burden. When the Holy
Spirit is grieved, He is burdened. To grieve is to oppress.
a. To grieve is to afflict with deep, acute sorrow—to afflict the Holy
Spirit with deep sorrow because of saying and doing the wrong things.
b. To grieve is to make sad, to distress. We make the Holy Spirit sad,
distressed when we disobey the Lord. God’s own people can make the Holy Spirit
sad by some of the things they do, cause Him to mourn. He cannot possibly mix
with that which is foreign to His personality.
c. To grieve the Holy Spirit is to make Him lament; many have done this
to Him. We do not want to do it because
we are His temple, dwelling place and we are heading for eternity a place of
peace, love and completeness.
3. In Vs 31, Paul says to get rid of bitterness which is caused by
being hurt and wronged then letting it go unchecked until it poisons your whole
perspective and life.
a. Rage and anger. Paul puts
them together. Rage is feeling the need
to express violent uncontrollable anger.
You lose it and there are always consequences. Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance,
displeasure, or hostility. Anger is an
emotion caused by a perception of being wronged. It can be good or bad depending on what is
angering us. Selfish anger leads to
wrong reactions. Righteous anger moves
us to defend others and right wrongs.
The cause is the key. The key to
dealing with anger to being quick to hear and slow to speak.
b. Brawling which means getting into fights whether physical or
talking. People get into fights. And when they feel threatened or wrong. They do not respect a person, are self-
involved, don’t get enough sleep, substance abused, you have personal problems
or self- esteem problems and deflect or attack others.
c. Slander is making false and damaging statements about someone. Christians should never do that. Satan is accuser of the brethren. You are doing satan’s work when you slander.
d. Any form of malice which is the intention or desire to do evil or
ill will. Paul says put it away and
don’t let it use you. The key is to
focus on the word of God and prayer.
4. In Vs 32, Paul says let these three qualities be the evidence of
God’s control of your life. Be
kind. It is the quality of being
friendly, generous, and considerate. It
flows from love, mercy and grace.
a. Be compassionate. This is a
feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others, understanding, concern and empathy towards
other. Any outward sign of love.
b. Forgive one another. This is
a choice and must be done immediately.
Paul says you do it because you have been forgiven. This is the reason we forgive. We also know forgiveness is the key to get
rid of all these negative expressions Paul talked about.
